Slender Man

Filmology Rating: 1.25 out of 4

Slender Man is another film from Sony! The scariest part of the movie was when I saw the Sony logo. Watch as Hollywood takes inspiration from a real tragic event and turns it into a cash grab! The film centers around four stereotypical white teenagers as they watch an "internet video" that summons a interdenominational, electro, faceless, space demon. They have to not die, I guess.

So if you live anywhere in the Milwaukee, Wisconsin area, you will notice that you are unable to view this film due to what recently happened with the "Slender Man Stabbings." So Hollywood took the popularity of Slender Man and made a film that is five years past its prime, then got cold feet because people were upset about the making of the movie, so Sony cut out 50% of the film, took out all the scary stuff, and then released half of a film that makes no sense into theaters with little to no advertisement. SONY!

It is difficult to even call this a film because of how much was cut out. Due to that, the film feels incohesive with no real narrative thrust, and nothing but people walking around and getting scared. Then immediately hard cut to something else. So right off the bat, this film has terrible dialogue, probably because it was written by a sixty year old man who is responsible for writing teenage dialogue.

Sample of actual dialogue: "The internet video of Slender Man just spreads like a virus in a hard drive, only the hard drive is your brain." So the film is nothing but characters on their phones and computers. One scene actually has Slender Man face-timing one of the girls which was hilarious. Characters also randomly disappear in the film which I will credit to the major cuts out of the film. But this movie can mostly be described as boring with flares of decent, creepy imagery.

The main issue with the film, especially in a horror film, is that it the "monster" needs rules and guidelines to abide by. In this Slender Man just turns into a tree for no reason.

Anyway, the film just ends and you feel terrible and sad after leaving the theater. Chances are, you can't see it anyways, so don't go out of your way.

Rating: Let It Burn

-Nolan