The Nun

"What's the opposite of a miracle, Father?"

Filmology Rating: 1 out of 4

The Nun is the prequel to Annabelle which was a prequel to The Conjuring and is the latest thing trying to scam you. It is about a nun who for no reason opens the gate to hell because why not. It's up to a priest, a Padawan nun, and a fake French accent to end the film. 
I want to discuss the advertising for this film because no advertisement for a movie has never made me more angry. This film got complaints for putting jump scares into their trailers on YouTube and so they took it down and claimed their terrible movie was "too scary for people." They then hid the rotten tomato score until 1 day before it came out so nobody would know it sucked. The studio tricks you into seeing it and makes its money back opening weekend. The end.

Now with all that aside, how was the film? I hated it. This film is "insert horror film cliche here." It's everything you think it is. The camera moves slowly around our character and we see a shadow in the distance then it disappears then 3 seconds later, jump scare. This film was nothing but jump scares which is commonly categorized as cheap horror.   I was also very bored in the movie. I was so bored that at the climax of the film, I fell asleep because it wasn't scary, interesting, and I didn't care about the poorly written characters.   The film also has the characters make dumb choices to further this film as a cliche itself. Also lots of points where the audience was laughing at the film itself because of how dumb it was.

I also want to discuss Cinematography for a minute because this film was so ugly. Every scene in this film took place in the dark at night in a basement with 90% of the frame in shadow and I had to squint for almost the entire film to see anything. IT WOULD HELP YOUR HORROR FILM IF THE AUDIENCE CAN SEE YOUR MOVIE!

Stay very far away from this. Go see a good low-budget festival film. You know, one that deserves money. You know, a movie... After the movie was over, a man (shockingly not me) said, "The scariest part was the price of the ticket."

Rating: Let It Burn

-Nolan