Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
/"The dead have taken command of the sea. They're searching for a girl, a Pearl, and a Sparrow."
Filmology Rating: 2 out of 4
Jack Sparrow is back! However things aren’t looking to good on the down on his luck Captain without a ship. Things get worse when he finds out that deadly ghost sailors lead by an old nemesis Capt. Salazar wants to get revenge and kill him. His only hope is to try and find the mystical trident of Poseidon to help protect him. Joining Captain Jack is some of the returning crew from the previous films and two new characters, Henry and Carina Smyth.
"Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales" is the 5th installment of the Pirates franchise. It has slowly gone done hill sadly. The first, “Curse of the Black Pearl” was fantastic, and the second, “Dead Man’s Chest” was also very good. Then it starts to go down from there with “At Worlds End”, which was good but dragged on a lot. Then we have the 4th which I don't even care enough to look up the title because that movie was awful. I had a lot of hope going into this film because I really wanted this series to get back on track…. That was not the case. While a step up from the 4th, this was nowhere close to what the franchise started with.
I don't know if it was the divorce or what but Johnny Depp and his portrayal of Jack Sparrow was just not the same. His swagger, his jokes, his drunkenness, and everything that comes with him seemed off. It just wasn’t the same. He was brilliant in the first 3 and this did not at all feel like the old Jack. Now this is not to say he was terrible, because he wasn’t. He still gave the audience a few good laughs but there were a LOT of jokes that didn’t connect. Blame the writing or what have you but something was off. One thing that I did really like was that we find out how Jack became captain in the first place and how he got his name. That to me was really cool!
If there was something that I was really looking forward to, it was Javier Bardem as the villain Capt. Salazar. Javier is a fantastic actor and I was really looking forward to what he could bring to this series. Sadly, it wasn’t a whole lot and for this I don't blame Javier one bit. His acting was actually pretty good. The thing that threw me about him was the obnoxious look they gave him; black ooze coming from his mouth, hair blowing constantly ghost like, and his awkward quirk that gave him while talking. I could never really take his character or the ghost crew seriously. Geoffrey Rush as Barbossa and his ghost crew in the “Black Pearl” where far more intimidating, better characters, and more interesting and likeable. So because of this, I was never fully sucked in with the villain and therefore there was never intensity to the action. And the ship that this ghost crew has was also ridiculous because it was too overpowered so the naval attack sequences always felt off. One last thing, it really bothered me that they don't really give you a good answer of how these ghost sailors became the way they are. I mean they kind of did but it was REALLY dumb.
With the new characters, we are introduced to Will Turners son. (Not a spoiler, there was a trailer released weeks ago saying this and it’s also in the first minute of the movie.) This to me was the most engaging part of the movie; the quest for Henry to find a way to break the spell of the Flying Dutchman and break the curse and set his father free. This and the backstory of the new female lead, Carina Smyth, were the most emotionally engaging and interesting side plots of the film. Apart from these stories, I got a little board for Jack, Barbossa, and Salazar.
So did a hate this movie? No…. I wouldn’t say it’s at the level of never wanting to see or speak of again like the 4th Pirates film but this just wasn’t what the series needed to jumpstart it once again. This film I'm sure will make a fortune and I really hope it does because THE CREDIT SCENE (make sure and stay till the very end) leads to the possibility of a 6th film and I really hope they do make it because that has me more interested in the possibilities of that film. "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales" didn’t quite scratch the itch to satisfy me with a solid ending to this franchise. Please get back to the roots and focus on the essentials once again.
Rating: Skip It
-Nick
Every young boy at some point in his life wishes he could be a pirate. I have pictures of myself dressed as a pirate well before Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl came out in 2003 and once that film came out the pirate craze officially made a comeback. While the first film took its inspiration from the classic Disneyland ride of the same name, it still felt new and fun. When Dead Man’s Chest came out in 2006, I went in with a tricorne hat expecting to once again be thrilled by the spectacle that I would see and I was thrilled, even for At World’s End. The original trilogy has spectacle and originality to spare; while some of the storylines might have become too bloated and confusing to follow, the films were still entertaining to watch. I cannot say the same for On Stranger Tides. I found the entire film to be bland and I found myself checking my watch wondering how much longer I would suffer the tedious journeys of the pirates I once enjoyed. Like most of the world I thought the Pirates franchise was dead and never had a chance of coming back, but money talks; On Stranger Tides made $1 billion worldwide so a sequel should have been inevitable, but it took a long six years.
Henry Turner, played by Brenton Thwaites, has been searching for a way to save his father from the curse of the Flying Dutchmen and he believes the Trident of Poseidon will be able to save him from the curse. However, the only way to find the Trident is by following the map that no man can read so when he finds Carina Smyth, played by Kaya Scodelario, who is an educated woman being put on trial for witchcraft. The two escape captivity by the British with the help of Captain Jack Sparrow, played for the fifth time by Johnny Depp, who is also looking for the Trident so he can finally kill Captain Salazar, played by Javier Bardem, who wants nothing more than to see every pirate destroyed.
If you have never seen a film in the Pirates of the Caribbean saga just walk away from this film quickly, you will get no sense of enjoyment watching it. The characters reference events long past and if you haven’t been on those previous adventures then this entire film will be hollow to you. You have no reason to follow Henry on his quest to free his father if you don’t have that connection to Will Turner; even if you do have that connection to Will Turner you might not want to follow this journey. Just a forewarning to everyone that if you don’t remember previous films, I suggest that you watch the original trilogy and stop there.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales relies heavily on the two new cast members: Brenton Thwaites and Kaya Scodelario; and since I found one of them to have the chemistry of a block of wood and the other to just be adequate most of the film simply can’t work. Thwaites in this film is simply terrible and while he is the son of Orlando Bloom in the film I can understand having some underdeveloped line readings but his performance became so bad that every time he opened his mouth to talk I had to fight to stay awake. Thwaites was good in The Giver but that is honestly the only film he has been good in, and I recommend that he looks at a different career path. As for Scodelario I think she has a good sense of charm and definitely screen presence. It could be that she is just the only person on screen most of the time who looks like she wants to be there. While I cannot remember her performances in The Maze Runner films I do look forward to seeing her in the latest one next year to see if her performance in this film is actually good or if all her supporting actors are just bad.
The other new crew member who is fighting for the most forgettable villain in blockbuster history is Javier Bardem as Captain Salazar. Bardem is usually the highlight of the films he is in like No Country for Old Men and Skyfall, but here the actor is given nothing to work with. While Salazar’s motivations are clear and simple to follow, they are never engaging and you never find yourself either rooting for him or repelled by his actions. Bardem can give a groundbreaking performance but he simply has nothing to work with from the script and that is where most of the problems start.
Jeff Nathanson has written one great film since he has been writing; that one film being Catch Me if You Can, but more often than not Nathanson has written terribly generic films like Rush Hour 3 and Tower Heist. I hate playing the “this is what the script should have been” game. I’m not at writer, I just like an entertaining film when it comes to these Pirates films. I didn’t get that. Instead what you ended up with is a bland film with Looney Tunes characters and action. The film also has one faction too many searching for the trident and that faction is killed off rather quickly after they start the search. It doesn’t work as a joke, most of the humor in this film is lifeless, and all it does is add to an already bloated film. While streamlining has never been an aspect of the Pirates films, each film seems to make more convoluted action scenes and choices for our characters, it might be time to think about making a simple pirate film rather than a special effects extravaganza.
Most reading this review are probably wondering why I haven’t mentioned the star of this film yet: Johnny Depp, and the main reason is because you can tell the good captain is sick of this role and he would rather not be in the film. Lately any film Depp touches has been acidic: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Alice Through the Looking Glass, Mortdecai, Transcendence, honestly I could keep going but I think the point has been made. Depp is a shell of his former self and his performances lately have been proof of that. I would rather watch one of the character actors at the Disney parks play Sparrow than watch him give a lifeless performance to a character who should keep you interested every second. We are now a long ways away from the actor who was nominated for Best Actor for his performance as Jack Sparrow in the first film and that is truly an unsettling affair.
If you didn’t come for the actors in the film I’m willing to bet you came for the action. If action is what you are seeking from this film I suggest you buy a ticket for Alien: Covenant instead because that film looks like an action feast compared to this film. I’m not saying that you don’t have swords clanking and ships firing cannons at one another, you do, but it feels completely lifeless. The action in this film never comes close to the end fight in Dead Man’s Chest which I consider to be the highlight of the saga so far. Perhaps some would call it better than the action in the previous installment but I feel that film tried more than this film. This film offers nothing new in the action scenes, most of them are simply call backs to make you remember how much you enjoyed the previous films, mainly how much you enjoyed The Curse of the Black Pearl. Studios need to stop relying on nostalgia because it never seems to work for me, if you are just going to reference a better film repeatedly I would rather just watch that better film than the film that has no soul.
A few years ago I had a rather drunken night where I said I was drinking with Captain Jack Sparrow, now after watching this film I feel I need to have a few drinks to try my best to forget about Captain Jack Sparrow and this wandering franchise.
Rating: Let It Burn
-Jonny G